After the success of the films in the Matrix series, the Wachowski Brothers return to the director's chair with this adaptation of the classic cartoon. INTO THE WILDs Emile Hirsch jumps into the Mach 5 car as Speed Racer, while John Goodman and Susan Sarandon play his parents. Christina Ricci' costars as Speed's girlfriend Trixie, and Matthew Fox (LOST) is Racer X, his biggest competitor.

Early reviews are saying this is another abortion, yet another instance of Hollywood raping our childhood heroes and memories. The Wachowskis do visual very well, but a movie isn't all about visual alone - which is impacted by the lead, Emile Hirsch, being about as charismatic as a city bus driver.

The only good thing about Speed Racer is its incredible visuals - the only thing the Wachowskis can ever do well anymore. They should have cashed out after the first Matrix to save from making two hideous sequels and this film.

Stay away from it this weekend - in fact, take out a restraining order on it. Keep IT as far away from YOU as possible.

Beer.com at the Movies - May 9